Hi, I’m Sean…

I spent most of my life knowing that something wasn’t quite right without ever knowing what to do to change it. 

I saw how everyone else was seemingly happy with what they had and could never understand why it didn’t fit for me. 

So I shrunk.

I accepted what everyone else was doing as the truth and drowned out my own voice.

I spent years hoping that the universe would drop things in my path, hoping miracles would help course correct and force me to make a change. 

I’ve come to know that I must choose my own path or risk being swept off in the current. I’ve had to grow into the man I needed to be, for nobody else but myself.

I’ve realised that I’ve always struggled to be honest with myself about what I want in life. I’ve always found ways to swivel away from the real truth about what I need in life.

The hard truth is : I want it all. 

I want the pain and the defeat just as much as I want the glory and the celebrations. I want to be forced to grow in ways I didn't know I needed and I want to be challenged to really fulfill my potential.

That has been extremely difficult at times but it’s forced me to finally address the things that I wasn’t happy about in my life.

It’s forced me to stop adapting for other people, stop becoming a chameleon in any situation I walked into, stop wearing the masks that hid my real face underneath for so long. 

It’s forced me to address the shame of my own being, the anger I’ve held at other people in my life and the derogatory voices that I’ve spent my whole life fighting. The ones that told me I wasn't enough, that said I was no good and bled dry my confidence to be the person I am without fear.

This work has allowed me to face up to the fact that I’m a little bit of everything. 

Both mad and sane, wild and domesticated, angel and devil. 

It’s brought me back to me and allowed me to accept the rough and smooth in myself which lets me handle anything life can throw at me.

It’s taken my life from grey and washed out to full technicolour.

I’ve always known how much I had to give to the world, now I feel brave and safe enough to step into the size and shape of that man.